This is a eulogy for my friend Sandy who died on Saturday.  She would have been 60 this coming Saturday.  You are familiar with Sandy and her husband Eric if you have been reading the blog for a while.  They are our travel buddies.  Aside from numerous Scout trips, we have traveled with them to the Grand Canyon, Boston, the Adirondacks, the Smoky Mountains, and Michigan.  Sandy and Eric came to visit us when we were working at parks in Washington State, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania.  Sandy and I were already planning a long RV trip to Alaska the year that she retired.  I’m not sure I can plan an RV vacation without her.

A eulogy is “a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, typically someone who has just died.”  It isn’t hard to find things to praise about Sandy.  When she was diagnosed with Stage 4 bile duct cancer in April, I started praying for her every day.  Not only did I include her in my prayers, I texted her a prayer every day.  She was always on my mind, in my prayers, and even in my dreams.  One night I dreamed we were at a campsite together, chatting away as we always did.  In my dream I said, “A friend fills a hole in your heart you never knew you had.”  When I woke up, I remembered the line and shared it with her.  That is exactly what Sandy was to me.  She filled a hole I never knew was there.

I could fill posts for a month praising Sandy and sharing memories, but I am going to limit my praises to two things.  First, Sandy believed in second chances.  When she was in high school, a guidance counselor told her she wasn’t smart enough for college and she should be a secretary.  She was content with that for a while, until she decided to take a second chance.  Sandy decided to start college when she was in her 30’s.  While working full-time, being a mom, and being a Scout leader.

Sandy got her nursing degree and then decided to go even further and become a nurse practitioner.  Her career in medicine was her second chance and she loved what she was doing.  She loved her patients and her co-workers and she loved bringing healing to people who were confused, frightened, and sick.

Part of this second chance was leaving an unhappy marriage behind and taking a chance on love with Eric.  Sandy had been so unhappy that she distanced herself from a lot of her old friends for a while.  Then, one day, she appeared with Eric.  The first time I got to know Eric was when Sandy and Eric both rode with the Boy Scouts across Missouri on the KATY Trail.   Sandy had a little trouble with drinking too much water one day and needed to go to the hospital.  Eric handled her and the situation with patience, humor, and his usual gentle spirit.  I knew then that she had found a great guy who would help her be happy.  In 2006 I had the joyful privilege of performing their wedding on the rim of the Grand Canyon.

Sandy believed in giving people second chances.  She was a loyal friend who was quick to forgive.  In caring for her grandma, Eric’s dad Max, and both her parents in her home, she gave them a chance to live a longer, fuller life.  She was infallibly patient with them.  When she got frustrated she would find something to laugh about in the situation.

Because she was a believer in second chances, she didn’t give up on herself either.  We used to joke that Sandy’s go-to position was “What easy way?” because she always seemed to choose the more difficult route.  But even when things were really hard, she never gave up.  When she was diagnosed with this cancer, she was determined to beat it, no matter what it took.  She wanted more time with Eric, her kids, and the light of her life, granddaughter Emma.

And that brings me to my second thing to praise about Sandy.  She was a person filled with joy.  It bubbled out of her and touched everyone close to her.  She was usually smiling or ready to smile.  Everything was an adventure.  Getting lost in the mountains of Maryland.  Losing the trail on a mountain climb in New York.  Playing putt-putt-golf on a course that was in extreme need of renovation.

One time she and Tom hiked up a mountain in New Hampshire.  Eric, Dana, Kendra, and I all took the chair lift up.  From the top of the mountain, we could hear Sandy and Tom approaching.  Even though they were out of breath from the climb, Sandy was laughing and we could hear that laughter carried on the breeze.

And that was what it was like to be with Sandy.  She brought out the joy in others because she was so full of it herself.  When Sandy and Eric got married, Sandy gave the women who were there a present.  I think she got us all the same present, although I never asked Cheryl or Jean about it.  Do you know what she gave me?  Edible panties!   No one ever gives a minister an X-rated gift!  She laughed and laughed when she saw me blushing over the gift.

I loved to watch Sandy toast marshmallows, one of her favorite things among so many favorite things.  She holds it a very specific distance from the coals so it toasts instead of burns.  Once it is golden brown on the outside and starting to melt on the inside, she slips off the slightly crisp outside and eats it.  Then she puts the rest of the marshmallow back that very specific distance from the coals to begin the process again.  She told me once she had gotten down 17 layers before the marshmallow was gone.

She was the same way in a museum.  Her preference was to read everything in the museum, see everything, and think about everything.  Last year we went to the Abraham Lincoln Museum in Harrington, Tennessee.  The rest of us were done and waiting thirty minutes in the lobby before Sandy came out.  She laughed when she saw all of us and said she had hurried – she had only read every other sign.

Being out in nature brought Sandy joy.  Hiking and camping brought joy.  Eating anything coconut or just about any kind of ice cream brought joy.  Planning another trip brought joy.  Being with friends brought joy.  Being with family and friends who had become family brought the most joy.  Sandy could find joy in very ordinary things.  Her default expression was a radiant smile that made you want to smile back.

I have been so blessed to have Sandy as a friend for the last 30 years.  I admired her courage, her intelligence, and her attention to detail.  We had so many adventures together.  So much fun.  And so much joy.