Two desktop computers ago, Tom and I got a state-of-the-art, HP Photosmart 3200 Three-in-one Printer. It was a thing of beauty, with color cartridges that could be exchanged individually. It scanned, printed beautiful pictures, and copied quickly and efficiently. The Printer even printed everything we asked of it. Until today.
Today, I replaced the yellow ink cartridge, which I have done many times before. I got a message from the printer that the yellow ink cartridge was damaged or missing. I tried replacing it again. Same message. I tried cleaning the ink contacts, per the instructions. No luck. I tried turning it off and turning it on again. Still the same message. I put the old, empty cartridge in and got the same message. I cleaned the contacts again and tried to put down the lid to close the printer.
But the lid wouldn’t shut. I lifted it up and tried to put it down again. I changed positions to get more leverage on the lid. Stuck in the open position. “What do you mean, you can’t get the lid down? Let me do it!” Tom gave me the look he reserves for idiots and came over to the printer. He couldn’t get it down either.
One hour later, the printer was in pieces on the floor, cables pulled out and the plastic hinges broken off. Stupid lid still wouldn’t shut. If Tom swore, he would have been doing it by then.
Finally we had to admit that the printer was dead: dead as a door-nail (see origin of the phrase here), dead as a deer on the highway, deader than disco. Even if, by some miracle, we got everything put back together again, we figured the odds were that it would never work again. So I hummed Taps while Tom gently carried the printer to the dumpster.
Our beautiful printer worked twelve years without fail. It was reliable, fast, and was everything you could ask for in a printer. We thank it for its service. Rest in peace HP Photosmart 3200 Three-in-one Printer. You served us well and we thank you for your faithfulness.