I Do Not Know But God Knows

2 Corinthians 12:1-10 has pretty much been my theme passage lately.  Especially the repeated interjection, “I do not know but God knows” in verses 2 and 3.  Over and over in the last few months I have repeated this refrain in wonder.  I am amazed and awed that God cares for me so much that he leads me even when I don’t know where or why I am going.

On July 1, when Tom and I finally returned from Georgia, we had no idea we would be buying a house, selling the RV and truck, and going smaller.  We both felt vaguely like God was leading us in a new direction, but had no idea what. “I do not know but God knows.”  Within days we knew that buying a house was the right thing to do.  We didn’t know why, but it felt absolutely right.  In short order we changed our lives and changed our address.

Ever since that decision, we have been so busy that we hardly sit down.  Moving us, moving John and Jackie, moving friends and family.  Our fall National Park gig was canceled because the Visitors Centers aren’t open yet, which gives us more time to adventure with Mom and Dad.  We’ve been working on our house and spending lots of time at John and Jackie’s doing landscaping and building walls.

Spending time with our expanded bubble of family has been a great blessing after all the time alone in Georgia.  And then, when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew a bit more of what God knows.  I am delighted that I can be here and help my parents in whatever way they need.  Through all of this I’ve had a complete feeling that God is in control and I can just take things day by day.  I don’t have to worry about anything.  I do not know, but God knows.

I’ve been praying for a while for God’s leading on when my parents needed us closer by.  Tom and I were supposed to be out of Ohio most of this year.  Instead, we will be in Ohio for six months – our longest stint in Ohio since we retired.  My parents would never insist on having us closer, and my brother and sister do a great job looking out for them, but I want to spend as much time with them as possible.  For me, if not for them.  So often I’ve heard people say they were sorry they didn’t take time to be with older parents more.  When their time comes – or mine – I want us to say we enjoyed every day that we were able to spend together.

When Paul wrote these verses in 2 Corinthians, he was talking about boasting only of his weaknesses and God’s strength.  I am not telling you about God’s leading to boast.  Instead, I want you to know that this is not unusual behavior for God.  God leads each of us in exactly these ways.  God goes where we cannot and knows what we do not.  He guides us through our weakest moments.  If we are open to where he nudges, we can find ourselves certain in the uncertainties of life.  There have been so many times when I have stumbled reluctantly forward, only to find that God has already prepared the way.

I do not know but God knows.  And I am excited to continue to follow and see where he is leading.