All of us get advice from our parents.  Sometimes we pay attention, sometimes we don’t.  Most of us go through phases.  We start out thinking our parents are infallible.  Then, as teenagers and young adults we think our parents don’t know anything.  Eventually our parents become very wise with great advice.  Funny how they evolve as we get older.

My dad died on Mother’s Day (May 10).  Here is a link to his obituary.  Dad had bounced back from so many things.  When he had a massive stroke on Tuesday, May 5, we didn’t know what to expect.  He survived a previous stroke, quadruple bypass surgery, prostate cancer, and getting hit by a truck while riding his trike.  When the doctor called me on Tuesday morning, he told me Dad was completely paralyzed on the right side and wouldn’t be able to talk.  When I arrived at the hospital, he was trying to climb out of bed and talking constantly.

But it became clear, over the next couple of days, that Dad was not going to get better this time.  He was very agitated and restless.  He kept saying “Go, go, go home.”  Because he had been dealing with dimishing capacity since breaking his leg in January, we knew that he didn’t want to be kept alive in a hospital room.  In the months following the broken leg, he had stated almost daily that he was ready to die.  On Friday we took the step of putting him on hospice care.

Friday and Saturday most of the family members were able to come and say goodbye.  When I left Friday afternoon, I kissed him and told him I was going to go now.  He responded, “Okay.”  I told him “I love you” and he responded, “I love you too.”  Those were pretty much his last coherent words.  Good words to hear.  My nephews had come up on Thursday.  John was able to go on Saturday morning.  My sister was there on Friday and my brother on Saturday.  Mom, of course, was there most of each day.

I was a little surprised to get the call about his death early Sunday morning.  I thought he would last a little longer.  But I am glad that his passing was swift – for us and for him.  I am glad we had so much time with him and thankful for every year he blessed us with his presence.  I am also thankful that he is now in his heavenly home and no longer suffering.

Everyone has been so wonderfully supportive, sharing stories and asking how they can help.  The stories are my favorite because they bring back a memory of my dad.  One of my good friends, Chris Ferlinc, said this about Dad:  “When we were at your house getting ready for your wedding, I talked to your dad alot. I had a year of school left and he was so encouraging and kind…I never forgot his good advice.  I liked your dad…alot.”  It means so much to me that she remembers advice my dad gave her 45 years ago.  Thanks so much for sharing that, Chris.

My dad did give great advice and it is one of the things I will really miss.  Just a month before, Tom and I were trying to decide whether on not to spend the money to encapsulate our crawl space (more on that in a future post).  Dad summed it up very succintly, “Is it going to be cheaper later?  It only has to be done once.”  Exactly.  Just the right words at the right time.

Dad did that a lot.  He didn’t tell me what to do, but when I asked his opinion about something, he always gave thoughtful, intelligent, and loving advice.  Here are a few of his words of wisdom that I will always remember:

Don’t put something off because it is hard.  It will still be hard in the future.  Dad had a way of cutting to the chase.  My nephew Devon has been thinking about changing careers and going back to school.  Dad encouraged him to do it now because it wouldn’t get any easier if he waited.

Try new things and stay curious about life.  Dad loved to travel and learn new things.  Every year I would get him some history books that we could read together.  We enjoyed talking about how history changed our perspective on the present.

Fix it today while it is a smaller problem.  Dad never put off a repair.  As he got frailer, he depended on Tom to do a lot of the repairs.  But he wanted them done now.  Because of this attitude, the house was in beautiful condition when he and Mom sold it.  It didn’t need any updating because they had been doing things all along.

Keep your promises.  I don’t think Dad every broke a promise.  When he was a child, he took a temperance oath.  He kept the card that he signed in his wallet all his life and never broke that promise.  Dad was a faithful husband and took his marriage vows seriously:  for better, for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health.  He and Mom spent a lifetime taking care of each other.

Give to others as God has given to you.  Dad was extremely generous.  He was alway ready to share whatever he had – his time, his attention, his energy.  Dad knew that God had generously blessed him and he shared that with others.  He usually let Mom decide the amounts of money to give, but he was a lifetime tither to church.  He was thankful for what he had and made sure that others benefited from that as well.

I know there are many more pieces of advice my dad gave me.  But that is enough for now.  I am so blessed to have this precious man as my father and to spend so many years with his love.  He was a faithful man of God and his life continues to shine with God’s radiance.  Well done, good and faithful servant.