I’ve been trying to clean out my office this week. I’ve been going in every morning and going through drawers, cabinets, and files. Then I take a load back to the RV or to the recycling bin. This has resulted an an emotional week as I not only say goodbye to people who stop in the office (I thought you were retired!) but also say goodbye to the duties of ministry.
Who is going to do the powerpoint for Sunday? I don’t know.
When is the church picnic? I don’t know.
Will you take pictures during VBS? I won’t be here.
Should we fix the refrigerator or replace it? I don’t know.
Helen Hamilton is on hospice care. Will you be doing the funeral? If it takes place this month.
You would think I would be feeling relief that I don’t have to have all the answers anymore and that I don’t have to be in charge, but it is a mixed bag. I had a minor meltdown yesterday when I realized that I won’t be coming to church at Wedgewood this Sunday – or any Sunday in the immediate future. I’ve seen basically the same group of folks every Sunday for the last 21 years. Not only are they my parishioners, they are friends and they have been my responsibility.
But not anymore. I have to give them over to Rev. Joe. Even more importantly, I have to give them to God. I can still pray for them and care about them but I have been relieved of the responsibility for them. Or at least I will be after June 30. Of course, it also means I don’t have to do any more meetings or write a weekly sermon or try to teach people to get along with each other the way God intended us to get along. I’ve already had supper with my husband three times this week – a new record! Maybe eventually I will figure out how to discuss subjects with him besides church!
Cleaning out the office is hard, but I know Rev. Joe doesn’t need me or my stuff in the way of the ministry that he and the folks at church will have together. The best thing I can do is clean out the office and clear out of the way and we will all go with God.